Sunday, October 30, 2011

Realizations (also written in 2007, but very true today)

I am realizing as I get older that I do not just want sex the mindless gropings and thrustings of someone who does not love or really desire me
want the kisses of someone who puts so much passion and need for me and my touch into it that it almost burns thru me
someones who's touch inspires so much desire in me that just that passing touch makes me wetter than the nile in flood season
I want someone who goes wild at the scent of me, who craves my touch and who makes me shudder from across the room because I know what he's thinking just by glancing in his eyes
I want this now and I want it at 80 or 90
I want deep wrenching love that makes me ache to be apart from you
not just lust
I want to be the kind of love story that if one of us dies the other damn near wastes away from grief and loss
I want to be someones everything
yet I want to still be my own person and I want my love to be thier own person as well
is that too much to ask?
I do not want anymore empty promises
or empty romantic encounters
or relationships that end because we let what should have burned for a lifetime grow cold
I do not want to ever wake up feeling used or worse because the contact I've had with another has been so empty and shallow that it was meaningless
if the people who claim to love me can't do that for me, then we don't need to interact that way anymore or ever
but if you want me, you want ALL of me
my bad and my good, ups and downs, moodswings, bratty but wonderful teenager and children.
I am a complicated, amazing, vexing. insatible, irritating, irresitable, know it all, fights with a wooden post to prove she's right kind of woman
I am one of a kind
if you've had me and lost me
you will never find another like me
if you have me now or ever, treasure me and I'll do the same for you
ignore me, neglect me, hate any aspect of me
and I'll go away.
some people had to learn this the hard way
some of them are still clueless as to what they lost
oh well..

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